I know I don’t normally post on Saturdays. And if you saw yesterday’s post you know I’m out of town, actually currently enjoying breakfast in bed I’m sure! But I scheduled this post earlier because today is a very special day. Today is an very important shall remain unnamed birthday for my mama.
My mum is a very special lady and it’s really hard living thousands of miles away from her and not seeing her all the time. And even though this is the 9th of her birthdays that I have spent away, it doesn’t get any easier…although it’s made a little easier by Skype
My mum is literally the most selfless person I know. I didn’t realize exactly how selfless until I had my own kids! When I was 17 years old I told her I wanted to go to school in Rockford, Illinois. Literally leaving all that I had ever known to go live in a country thousands of miles away. And you know what? She didn’t cry, she didn’t beg me to stay, she didn’t ever make it about her – she supported me 100%. Being the selfish teenager that I was at the time, I was consumed by everything that this new chapter of my life would hold and didn’t really think about how it affected my family at that time, more specifically her, who was separating from my dad at that time. The whole time that I was preparing to leave the only emotion I felt from her was excitement for me, of course she let me know that she would miss me and I knew that but it wasn’t until my first call to her once I was all settled in that I realized what she had been going through. During that call I could tell she was upset and when I asked her what was wrong she told me she missed me so bad she had spent 3 days in my bedroom crying I just remember being totally shocked at the time. I had no idea that she was so upset over me leaving and when I asked her why she didn’t tell me before I left she said that she didn’t want me to doubt my decision or worry about her, she wanted me to know that I had her full support and she thought that if I’d known how sad she really was, I wouldn’t have followed my dream.
Then when I actually had my own children and thought about the possibility of allowing them to move so far away from me at such a young age it really shed light on how selfless my mum’s 100% full blown support and encouragement was at that time. Sometimes I still can’t believe that she actually let me go! And then when I told her I was staying, and then again when we were getting married, and getting pregnant with her grandchildren! Every new stage that I enter into is exciting in itself, but there’s always that little twinge of sadness for not being close to my family and them not being close to me. But through it all my mum has only ever shown joy and happiness for me and the life that I am living. She is an absolute gem in this world and for this, and many many other reasons, I love her so much.
So mum…it’s hard not being with you for another birthday, I hope that it is a wonderful day and that you feel joy and happiness knowing that we love you SO MUCH, and miss you even more